I am a mother who was initially very idealistic. Like most new mothers, I wanted to give the best and do everything perfectly for my child. However, everything changed when I experienced baby blues during the newborn phase.
During pregnancy, I felt like I lost my freedom. I couldn’t enjoy my favorite foods or drinks, and the people around me were overly protective. I tried to accept this situation for the sake of my baby. After giving birth, I thought everything would go back to how it was before—I could eat and drink whatever I wanted. But it didn’t. My environment remained overly protective, both towards me and my baby. It felt like everything I did was controlled by others.
The newborn phase was incredibly tough. I cried every day, often without even knowing why. I felt empty, exhausted, and sad all at once. From the start, I had clear principles about how I wanted to raise my child. But due to the overwhelming pressure from my surroundings, all those principles seemed to fade away. Year after year passed, and I eventually realized that this experience made me more easily angered and often trapped in lingering disappointment.
Finally, I decided to join the SELF workshop. There, I discovered the inner critic within me—something I had never realized was the root of my deep disappointments, overthinking about other people’s comments, and my struggles in expressing emotions.
This workshop introduced me to supportive mentors. They created a safe space to share and helped us make decisions to express ourselves more courageously. One of the most memorable things a mentor said was: “We cannot control other people’s emotions, so focus on what we can control—our own emotions. Know yourself.”
As a mother, this journey has been incredibly meaningful. Being a mother is not just about caring for my child, but also about caring for myself, understanding my inner needs, and setting a good example for my child and those around me.
Now, after this program, I’ve learned to be more patient, wiser, and more empathetic, not only towards my child but also towards myself. I realized that by knowing and loving myself more deeply, I can become a stronger, more loving mother and better able to give the best for my children.
This journey is certainly not easy, but I believe every step I take is part of growing together with them. I am grateful and very happy to have participated in this workshop.
Intan Septiadewi (Indonesia)
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